


the cards that we’ve been dealt

by saturnmos



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Drabble, F/F, Fluff and Angst, inspired by a song, nayeon is only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-24 19:12:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17709950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saturnmos/pseuds/saturnmos
Summary: every tear’s a rain parade from hellorsana and momo both only want the other to stop hurting.





	the cards that we’ve been dealt

**Author's Note:**

> i listened to ghostin by ariana grande on repeat from midnight to 3am this morning and came up with this so i wrote it instead of doing my english hw ^-^
> 
> enjoy!! (n sorry for any mistakes)

sana knows everything about momo. has always known. is more attuned to her than she feels she is to herself. it’s always been that way.

so when momo’s breathing changes mid-slumber, becoming labored and uneven, sana instinctively wakes up where she lays next to her. momo is soon to follow, sitting up with a choked gasp that immediately turns into a sob.

but sana is there in an instant, protective embrace enveloping her, and momo melts into it, clutching onto her in a desperate effort to anchor herself back to the present as the tears stain sana’s shirt. sana blinks back her own tears as the sobs wrack the other girl’s body, smoothing down her hair and pressing a kiss to her crown.

“i’m here. you’re okay. it’s going to be okay.”

 

   
it always takes a while for momo to tire herself out, but sana stays up with her, grabbing tissues and wiping the tears away until they stop. stroking her hair and her back until her breathing begins to even again.

it’s the same tonight, and momo buries her head in sana’s neck when she calms down, clinging to her tightly.

“you’re so good, sana,” comes the exhausted mumble from the girl on her chest.

“and you deserve even more,” sana whispers. “sleep now.”

 

  
the dreams always end with nayeon leaving.

on the rare occasions where momo falls asleep without issue, it usually follows a similar pattern. sana wishes the nightmares would leave momo alone, quit deepening a still fresh wound in the girl’s heart.

she isn’t the one who deserves to suffer.

it was a whirlwind romance, momo’s first love, her longest relationship. and then it was over. she was gone. without a goodbye. she took a piece of momo with her, and, by association, a piece of sana.

it’s only been a few weeks since the day her best friend showed up at her door, looking more broken than sana had ever seen her. she’ll never forget it. and she’ll never forgive nayeon for it. 

to make a long story short, momo is everything to sana. she’s loved her since she was old enough to understand it, but time has never been on her side. now, however, she couldn’t care less about the wistful wishes that come with being in love with your best friend. because she’s momo’s _best friend_. and momo needs her to be just that. however long it takes. 

seeing momo suffering, longing for someone who has cast her aside is comparable to tearing herself to pieces, but she’d bear it all to give the girl any sort of comfort. she hopes momo knows that she’s trying. she hopes she’s helping.

sana would give all the love she’s got to put the girl back together again.

 

—

  
  
momo knows everything about sana. has always known. is more attuned to her than she feels she is to herself. it’s always been that way.

momo knows that sana is hurting too. can hear her heart splinter a little more every time she holds momo, sings her to sleep as she sniffles into her shirt. she knows that sana feels helpless despite how much she comforts momo everyday.

she also knows that sana will never admit it. not while momo’s sensitive. it’s gotten better, but momo’s terrified of those scars. terrified of reopening them. it’s still only been a few months.

momo doubts that anybody else would have lasted a day handling her with the care that sana does.

she’s always considered sana her guardian angel. since they were two bubbly little kids. sana always felt the need to put herself between momo and any sort of harm, despite momo being older. momo pretended like it annoyed her, but she was grateful. no one ever made her feel quite as safe.

it’s why sana’s was the first place she thought to go when nayeon ran for the hills.

 

sana is safe.

nayeon was an adventure. she was excitement, passion, and unpredictability at her finest. a place momo always dreamed of going. momo loved it. momo loved her, but there was always a part of her that knew she wouldn’t be the one to clip that girl’s wings.

but sana was coming home. open arms after too much time away. no questions asked.

 

sana bought her a dreamcatcher a few weeks ago _. for the nightmares,_ she had said. _they can’t get to you if they get caught first._

momo couldn’t tell sana then that the only nightmares she has anymore end with sana leaving instead.  
  
momo knows she is still healing, but even then she can’t keep from acknowledging that they’re changing.  
  
she catches herself noticing something new almost everyday. banter that goes a little too far and results in pink-tinted cheeks, eyes straying to lips with centimeters between the two, domesticity that comes too easily for them.

or maybe sana has always looked at her like she hung the moon. 

momo wishes she was better. better for sana and herself and everyone in her life who’s stood by her. she hopes she will be better. she hopes one day she will be ready to be fully loved the way sana offers, and fully love her in return. but she knows there’s no rush.  
  
sana could be god’s personification of love itself and it would come as no surprise to momo. sana promises a forever that momo never expected to find with every late night wrapped in her arms, every kiss pressed to momo’s knuckles, every flirty smile sent her way from across the room. it sets off a warmth in her chest that brings a smile to her face without fail. it’s overwhelming, almost consuming, but welcome, in the best way. and momo has so much to look forward to.

—

sleep still isn’t the easiest thing to come by, but watching sana’s peaceful expression in front of her, lights from the street outside accentuating each of her features, momo feels like she may already be dreaming.

tentatively, as to not wake her, momo presses forward, placing a gentle kiss on the girl’s forehead. she lingers there for a few moments, debating even pulling away. _i love you. thank you._

but of course, there’s a small smile on sana’s lips now, and a hand that tangles with momo’s slowly. sana squeezes it three times in her own. _i love you_.

 

_we’ll get past this._

**Author's Note:**

> #nosamosadness2k19
> 
> ask me abt my ult ship  
> twitter: @jenniehirais  
> curiouscat: @saturnmos


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